I was having a really bad week last week. I guess that just happens from time to time.

I sorta feel bad admitting all this, as my last email was about culture shocked I was being in America. Now I get to enjoy reverse culture shock.

I couldn't work out exactly why I´m here. Guess I got a bit homesick. I realised I have a good life back home. I´ve got a good job in Sydney, good friends, some great volunteer work, I have my family.

Man, I could start complaining about being here. I work for free, I have to share a room with a German guy (which isnt really all that bad, but just something else I can complain about), we eat beans too often, the kids make me play soccer all the time, and then they laugh at me because I cant play soccer, I get tired of speaking Spanish, yadah yadah...

I summed up all that I sacrificed to be here, and I wasnt sure it was worth it. Why give up what I give up for some kids I dont even know? Why should I even care?

But then it was Aduar´s birthday. Aduar is the guy who works with the boys in my orphanage. I suppose the house Dad. He is a very cool 34 year old, who loves the boys a lot, and they love him even more.

They had been saving up for his birthday for the last month. They had raised $5, I'm quite sure how, but they had. I pitched in another $5, and with the 10 they were able to buy 2 large bottles of coke, a bottle of cheap wine, a hat, a pair of socks, balloons and streamers. I was very impressed. They fixed the place up very nice.

The party went well, we had a lot of fun dancing to techno music, and some of the boys did some clown acts.

But then we had the 'circle'. Every boy had to stand in the middle of the circle and say a few words to Aduar. It went well for the first half of the group. They thanked him for being good to them. Then the second half started to get a little more emotional, shedding a few tears. Then it was Marlon's turn.

Guess I should tell you a bit about Marlon first. I've known Marlon for a while, as he used to live in Mundo Nuevo, the community that my Aunties work in. Both his parents died quite a few years ago. He lived with his grandmother until she sold him to a farmer in Mundo Nuevo. There he was made to work long hours, and permitted to go to school occassionally. He would arrive dirty, sickly, and with the same torn clothes each week.

Anyway, Marlon eventually was removed from that situation and was placed in the Orphanage which I'm working. He is a sweet 10 year old boy, full of life and character, and a mischevious smile.

He stood in the middle of the circle, so small, and said to Aduar ¨Que quiero decir es...¨, ¨what I want to say is....¨, and then nothing. He stared Aduar down, and then broke into tears. But not normal tears, more the uncontrollable kind that make you shake. Aduar picked him up in a hug, then we all cried. All 20 of us. I guess the tears I shed were more out of politeness for the moment, but never could I understand the emotion behind those childrens´ tears. Never could I understand their significance.

Tears shed for the one person in the world who loves them. For the person who accepts them and fights for them, and has pulled them out of the most lonely of lives.

Tears shed at the fact that they have no father to share a birthday with. No father to hold them and cry with them. Tears for a lost past.

Then I understood why I am here, and why I should care for kids who I dont even know. Why I can sacrifice my few pleasure in Australia to be here. These kids have nothing and noone. I miss my family; these kids have no family. I miss my good job with my good salary; these kids come from living on the streets in absolute poverty.

16 kids with 16 crazy stories. 9 year olds addicted to sniffing shoe glue. 7 year olds whose parents were murdered violently, leaving them orphanged and on the street.

¨Are you happy here?¨ (expecting a negative response, as I could never understand a child being content in an institution).

¨Here I have what I need, before being here I had nothing. Yes I am happy¨.

So pretty much Phillip (the German) and I just help Aduar be their Dad. We wash the kids clothes every day, serve their meals, play cards and soccer with them every night (soccer being a very intense event). We take them walking through the jungle, stealing mandarins from trees and splashing through mud.

I get such a unique priviledge of praying with the kids every night. Once they're in bed I sit with them and ask them about their day, then what they would like me to pray for. They aren't exactly used to praying to God in the free way that I can (Catholic pray times are a little different), but they sure do love me petitioning on their behalf. Some 1:1 attention and their day is made.

My life is surely priviledged. It is so hard to not always think the grass is a little greener; but I thank God for the blessing of working with the children of Colombia.